A guy walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him.
The waitress asks about their order.
The guy says, “A burger, fries, and a Coke,” and turns to the ostrich, “What’s yours?”
“I will have the same,” says the ostrich.
Shortly after, the waitress returns with the order.
“That will be $18.40, please.” The man puts his hand in his pocket and takes out the exact change to pay without looking.
The next day, the guy and the ostrich come again, and the guy says, “A burger, fries, and a Coke.
The ostrich says, “I’ll have the same.”
Again, the guy puts his hand in his pocket and pays with exact change. This becomes routine until one night they enter the restaurant and the waitress asks, “The usual?”
“No, this is Friday night, so I’ll have a steak, baked potato, and salad”, says the guy.
“Me too,” says the ostrich.
The waitress brings the order and says, “That will be $42.62.”
Again, the guy takes the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.
The waitress can’t hold back her curiosity any longer. “Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change out of your pocket every time?”
“Well,” the guy says, “several years ago, I was cleaning my attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.”
“That’s brilliant!” says the waitress. “Most people would wish for a million dollars or something, but you’ll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!”
The guy sighs and answers, “My second wish was for a tall chick with long legs who agrees with everything I say.”
“That’s right. Whether it’s a gallon of milk or a Rolls-Royce, the exact money is always there,” says the guy.
The waitress asks, “But, sir, what about the ostrich?”
The guy sighs and responds, “My second wish was for a tall, leggy girl who goes everywhere with me and agrees with everything I say.”
MORAL OF THE STORY:
Men’s brains work brilliantly until they start thinking about a woman!!
LOL!!
Hope this joke will make you smile! Have a nice day!
A duck waddled into a pub
A duck waddled into a pub and asked for a beer and a ham sandwich.
The bartender stared and said, “Hold on a sec! You’re a duck!”
“That’s pretty obvious,” the duck replied.
“And you talk!” shouted the bartender.
“And you hear well!” the duck said. “Now, about that beer and sandwich?”
“Oh, right, sorry,” the bartender said, pouring the duck’s beer. “We don’t get many ducks around here. What brings you in?”
“I’m working at that construction site over there,” the duck explained. “I’m a plasterer.”
The bartender was surprised, but let the duck be when he pulled out a newspaper to read.
The duck read the paper, ate his food, and left. He did this every day for two weeks.
Then, the circus came to town. The circus manager came into the pub, and the bartender said, “Hey, you’re with the circus, right? I know a duck who’d be a star in your show! He talks, drinks beer, eats sandwiches, reads the paper… he’s amazing!”
“Is that right?” the circus manager said, handing the bartender his card. “Tell him to give me a call.”
The next day, when the duck came in, the bartender said, “Hey, Mr. Duck, I think I found you a fantastic job that pays well.”
“I’m always interested in new opportunities,” the duck said. “Where is it?”
“At the circus,” the bartender answered.
“The circus?” the duck asked.
“Yep,” said the bartender.
“The circus?” the duck asked again. “The one with the big tent?”
“Exactly!” said the bartender.
“With the animals in cages and people living in trailers?” asked the duck.
“That’s the one,” said the bartender.
“And the tent is made of that heavy fabric with a hole at the top?” the duck asked.
“That’s right!” said the bartender.
The duck shook his head and said, “Why would they need a plasterer?”