Howard chuckled. “That’s cute. I sent her a Tesla with a personal chauffeur who’s always on call. She’ll never have to drive herself again.”
Norman leaned back in his chair, his smile even bigger. “Amateurs. I sent Mom a brown parrot trained for twelve years by monks. It knows the entire Bible. All she has to do is name a verse, and it will recite it perfectly.”
A week later, their mother sent thank-you notes.
“Gerard,” she wrote, “the house is lovely, but it’s far too big. I only use one room, and I have to clean the entire place!”
“Howard,” she wrote, “the car is beautiful, but I don’t go out much, and the driver has a temper worse than your father’s.”
“Dearest Norman,” she wrote, “you’re the only one who truly understands me. The roast chicken was delicious. But it was pretty small.”
Norman realized his “biblical” bird had become dinner instead of delivering divine inspiration.
3: The 3 a.m. Push Request That Went Sideways
It’s one thing to ask for help, but knocking on someone’s door in the middle of the night is a whole other level of bold.
One freezing night, my husband and I were jolted awake by the loudest pounding on the door. Grumbling, he dragged himself out of bed to see who it was.
When he opened the door, a man stood on our porch, soaking wet and shivering. “Excuse me,” the guy said politely, “can you give me a push?”
My husband scowled. “Are you serious? It’s three in the morning! And it’s freezing out here!”
He slammed the door and stomped back to bed, still muttering.
“Who was it?” I asked sleepily.
“Some guy wanting a push,” he replied, clearly annoyed.
“Did you help him?”