Many ladies used to sit together every evening in a park and talk nonstop.
One day, they were sitting very, very quietly.
A gentleman who would walk past the noisy group every day was surprised to see them all so quiet.
He inquired about this, to which they replied, “You see, today we are ALL present, so we don’t know who to gossip about.”
=============================================
This morning I was sitting on a park bench next to a homeless man.
I started a conversation by asking him how he ended up this way.
He said, “Up until last week, I still had it all. I had plenty to eat, my clothes were washed and pressed, I had a roof over my head, I had TV and Internet, and I went to the gym, the pool, and the library.
“I was working on my MBA on-line. I had no bills and no debt. I even had full medical coverage.”
I felt sorry for him, so I asked, “What happened? Drugs? A-l.c.ohol? Divorce?”
“Oh no, nothing like that,” he said. “I was released from prison.”
=============================================
Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger.
First Blonde: “I can’t seem to get this door unlocked!”
Second Blonde: “Well you better hurry up. It’s starting to rain and the top is down!”