Little Emily was complaining to her mother that her stomach hurt.
Her mother replied, “That’s because it’s empty. Maybe you should try putting something in it.”
The next day, the pastor was over at Emily’s family’s house for lunch.
He mentioned having his head hurt, to which Emily immediately replied, “That’s because it’s empty. Maybe you should try putting something in it.”
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A pizza was waiting in the stomach to be digested, then suddenly a whiskey came along.
Pizza thought, “Ok. I’ll let him pass, there’s no hurry.”
Two minutes later another whiskey comes by and pizza let him pass too, but two minutes later when the next one got there, pizza stopped him, “What’s going on out there?” it asked.
“Why, there’s a party going on!! It’s great! They’re having the most fun!!!” the whiskey replied.
And pizza said, “Great, I’ll go check it out!”
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Paddy, suffering from a severe toothache, finally got up enough nerve to visit his dentist, but lost it again when he was about to get into the chair.
The dentist told his assistant to give Paddy a shot of whiskey kept on hand for just such circumstances as this.
“Ye got your courage back now?” the dentist asked.
“No!” replied Paddy.
So a second shot was brought, then a third.
“Now have ye got your courage?” asked the dentist.
“You’re damn right!” Paddy said, squaring his shoulders. “I’d like to see the bastard who’d dare to touch my teeth now!”