A man and his wife were sitting in the living room.
Husband, “Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug.”
His wife got up, unplugged the TV, and threw out all of his beer.
===========================================
A little girl walks in to the living room one Sunday morning while her Dad is reading the paper.
“Where does poo come from?” she asks.
The father feeling a little perturbed that his 5 year old daughter is already asking difficult questions thinks for a moment and says, “Well you know we just ate breakfast?”
“Yes,” answers the girl.
“Well the food goes into our tummies and our bodies take out all the good stuff, and then whatever is left over comes out of our butts when we go to the toilet, and that is poo.”
The little girl looks shocked, and stares at him in stunned silence for a few seconds before asking: “And Tigger?”
===========================================
The two ladies were sitting in the living room, waiting for their hostess, who was slightly delayed.
The daughter of the family was with them, on the theory that she would keep the visitors occupied during the wait.
The child was about six years old, snub nosed, freckled, buck-toothed and bespectacled. She maintained a deep silence and the two ladies peered doubtfully at her.
Finally, one of them muttered to the other, “Not very p-r-e-t-t-y, I fear,” carefully spelling the key word.
Whereupon the child piped up, “But awfully s-m-a-r-t!”