I was in my bedroom, doing my makeup, when I heard my parents in the bathroom across the hall.
My father was groaning in excruciating pain, and thankfully, my mother was there by his side. Back then, I was a self – centered twenty – something, going back and forth between two guys like a yo – yo. But this moment between my parents really hit me.
My father let out a moan. “It’s okay, Chris,” my mother told him. “I’m right here.”
That was the beginning of the painful side effects of my father’s prostate cancer, which had started years earlier. And as time went on, it would only get worse.
Leaning in towards the mirror, carefully applying mascara to my lashes, I heard my father grumble some more. I froze. I felt trapped in their moment, with nowhere to escape. Then, I heard a clank in the bathroom. Something had spilled, beyond my father’s control. My mother would be the one to clean it up. “I’m so sorry,” my dad said.
“It’s okay, Chris,” my mom replied. “I’m here.”
Once I finished my makeup, I sat on my bed, with the door slightly ajar. While I was worried about my dad’s health, tears rolled down my cheeks and onto my jeans because I finally understood something—THIS is what marriage is all about.
Marriage isn’t just about the big, fancy wedding, the trendy date nights, or spending hours together on the couch, binge – watching Netflix. Marriage is revealed in the tough times—when one spouse helps the other through something so personal and embarrassing that they wouldn’t want to share it with anyone else.
When we were young, whether as girls or boys, we watched movies and read stories filled with happy endings, magical beginnings, and funny moments in between. But true romance lies in two people needing each other, being open and vulnerable with each other, and being able to fully rely on each other during life’s darkest hours.
I sat on my bed, and at that moment, I made a decision. I was done playing the field. I wanted my future marriage to be like my parents’—not perfect, but beautiful. My parents’ marriage, and now my own, have had their fair share of ups and downs. But seeing the real love in that moment will always remind me that marriage is truly tested and found in life’s most difficult moments, even in the bathroom.