A drunken man was wandering around the parking lot of a bar, bumping into then rubbing the roofs of the cars.
The manager comes out of the bar and stops the guy.
“What the heck are you doing ?” he asks the drunk.
“I’m looking for my car, and I can’t find it,” he replies.
“So how does feeling the roof help you ?” asks the puzzled manager.
“Well,” replies the drunk earnestly, “MY car has two blue lights and a siren on the roof!”
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Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger.
First Blonde: “I can’t seem to get this door unlocked!”
Second Blonde: “Well you better hurry up. It’s starting to rain and the top is down!”
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Couple going out
A woman drove to a parking garage searching for an open space, but she found none.
Then she noticed a couple walking just ahead. She slowly pulled alongside them and rolled down her window. She called out hopefully, “Going out?”
“No,” the man said, “we’re just friends.”
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A circus owner walked into a bar to see everyone crowded about a table watching a little show.
On the table was an upside-down pot and a duck tap dancing on it. The circus owner was so impressed that he offered to buy the duck from its owner, Liam.
After some wheeling and dealing they settled for $5,000 for the duck and the pot.
Three days later the circus owner runs back to the bar in anger,
“Your duck is a rip-off! I put him on the pot before a whole audience and he didn`t dance a single step!”
“Well,” said Banta, “Did you remember to light a candle under the pot?”