An old farmer had owned a large farm for many years.
He had a huge man-made pond out back with a beautiful picnic area. For years, it was the perfect place to unwind or hold a family get-together. As the farmer grew older, his “Oasis” was used less and less. It eventually became the local swimming hole, and while his neighbors occasionally took advantage of the pond, he rarely made an appearance.
One evening, the old farmer decided to go down to the pond. He hadn’t been there in a while and felt the urge to pay a visit to check on things. As he neared the pond, he heard loud playful voices giggling and laughing. As he came closer, he was astonished to see that a bunch of young women had decided to sk1nny d1p in his pond.
He made the women aware of his presence, and they all went to the deep end of the pond. One of the women shouted to him, “We’re not coming out until you leave!”
The old man replied, “I’m here to feed the alligator.”
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A southern farmer got in his pickup and drove several miles to a neighboring farm and knocked on the farmhouse door.
A young boy, about 12, opened the door. “Is yer pa home?” he asked.
“No sir, he sure ain’t,” the boy replied. “He went to town.”
“Well,” said the farmer. “Is yer ma home?”
“No, she ain’t here either. She went to town with pa.” “Well, then, how about yer brother, Joe, is he here?” “No sir, he went with pa and ma.”
The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other, and mumbling to himself.
“Is there anything I kin do fer ya’?” inquired the young boy politely. “I know where all the tools are, if you want to borry one; Or maybe I could take a message fer pa.”
“Well,” said the farmer uncomfortably, “I really wanted to talk to yer pa. It’s about your brother Joe getting my daughter, Pearly Mae, pregnant.”
The boy considered for a moment. “You would have to talk to pa about that,” he finally conceded. “I know that pa charges $500 for the bull and $250 for the boar hog, but I really don’t know how much he gets for Joe.”