A young man saw an elderly couple sitting down tounch at McDonald’s.
He noticed that they had ordered one meal, and an extra cup.
As he watched, the gentleman carefully divided the hamburgerin half, then counted out the fries, one for him, one for heruntil each had half of them.
Then he poured half of the soft drink into the extra cup and setthat in front of his wife.
The old man then began to eat, and his wife sat watching, withher hands folded in her lap.
The young man decided to ask if they would allow him topurchase another meal for them so that they didn’t have tosplit theirs.
The old gentleman said,“Oh no. We’ve been married 50 yearsand everything has always been and will always be shared50/50.”
The young man then asked the wife if she was going to eatand she replied, “It’s his turn with the teeth.”
.
An older couple were lying in bed one night.
The husband was falling asleep but the wife was in a romanmood and wanted to talk.
She said, “You used to hold my hand when we were courtin
Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second andtried to get back to sleep
A few moments later she said, “Then you used to kiss me.
Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on thecheek and settled down to sleep.
Thirty seconds later she said,”Then youused to bite my neck.
Angrily, he threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed.
“Where are you going?” she asked.
“To get my teeth!”
A man was in a bar with his buddies, recounting theevents of the previous week.
It was payday the previous Friday, so he had decided to stayout with his friends for a spot of drinking.
An evening out turned into a whole weekend of partying, andhe only returned home on Sunday night, to bear his wife’sinevitable wrath.
“My wife wasn’t too pleased that I didn’t show up for a wholeweekend,” he said.
“What did she say to you?” asked his buddies.
“Well, she just nagged for what seemed like an eternity, thenat one point, she asked me how I’d like it if I didn’t see her fortwo or three days,” he replied.
“And what did you say?” they asked.
“I told her it would be fine by me!”
“So did she leave?”
“Well no, she didn’t leave, but the joke’s on her. On thethird day, my left eye opened up a little bit.”