A: “I have the perfect son.”
B: “Does he smoke?”
A: “No, he doesn’t.”
B: “Does he drink whiskey?”
A: “No, he doesn’t.”
B: “Does he ever come home late?”
A: “No, he doesn’t.”
B: “I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?”
A: “He will be six months old next Wednesday.”
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.
.
.
.A fisherman returned home very late, covered in blood and with his clothes in tatters.
His wife asked, “What happened to you?”
He replied, “It was terrible. While I was fishing, I saw a man drowning, so I jumped in to save him. I pulled him out, but then a huge shark came along.”
The wife gasped, “Oh no! What did you do?”
The man said, “Well, the shark attacked him, so I had to club it to death with my oar.”
The wife was amazed, “So where did all the blood come from?”
The man replied, “I was trying to get my oar back out of the shark when the coast guard showed up and arrested me for clubbing a man to death.”
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.
A: “My wife’s gone to the West Indies.”
B: “Jamaica?”
A: “No, she went of her own accord.”