I just had to pass this one along to you. If you enjoyed it, go ahead and share it. After all, laughter is truly the best remedy!
On the day before Christmas Eve, a man in Minneapolis calls his son who has been living in Chicago for a few years.
He says, “My dear son, I hate to spoil your day, but I’ve got to let you know that your mother and I are getting a divorce; 45 years of unhappiness is enough.”
“Dad, what on earth are you talking about?” the son shouts.
“We can’t bear the sight of each other anymore,” he says. “I’m fed up with her face, and I’m tired of talking about this. So call your sister and let her know.” Then he hangs up.
Now, the son is really concerned. He calls his sister. She says, “There’s no way they’re getting divorced!” She immediately calls their father.
“You’re not getting a divorce! Don’t do anything else. The two of us are flying home tomorrow to sort this out. Until then, don’t contact a lawyer, don’t file any papers. DO YOU HEAR ME?” She hangs up the phone.
The old man then turns to his wife and says, “Okay, they’re both coming for Christmas and paying for their own plane tickets.”
BONUS STORY
I came across this naughty joke earlier today. I told it to a friend right away, and he laughed so hard that he got a stomachache. I have to say I found it really hilarious too.
An elderly woman from Montana had an appointment with her doctor to seek advice on how to deal with her husband’s lack of sexual desire.
“Have you tried Viagra?” the doctor asked.
“Not a chance,” the old lady replied. “He won’t even take aspirin.”
“No problem,” the doctor said. “Just give him some Montana Viagra.”
“What’s Montana Viagra?”
“It’s easy. You secretly put the Viagra in his coffee when he’s not looking. He won’t be able to taste it. Try it and get back to me in a week and let me know the results.”
A week later, the old lady called the doctor.
“Oh my goodness!” she cried. “Terrible! Just awful.”
“Really? What happened?” the doctor asked.
“I did as you told me. I put the pill in the coffee, and the effect was instantaneous… he jumped up from the chair, and his eyes were practically on fire. With a swift move, he swept all the cups and the tablecloth off the table, tore my clothes off and had his way with me right there on the table. It was a nightmare, I tell you, a nightmare.”
“Oh, I see. But why was it so bad? Shouldn’t this be a good thing?” the doctor asked in a concerned tone.
“Oh yes, this was the best thing that’s happened to me in 25 years! But I can tell you right now, I’ll never be able to show my face in the downtown Starbucks again!”
Did you crack a smile? If you did, be a good friend and share this with your pals!