Married Man Sends His Mistress Abroad
An Italian woman and a wealthy married man were having an affair.
She told him that she was pregnant one evening.
The father gave her a sizable payment to go to Italy and give birth covertly since he didn’t want to endanger his marriage or reputation.
In addition, he assured her that if she remained to raise the child, he would pay child support until the child was 18.
Although she consented, she questioned how he would be able to tell when the baby was born. He instructed her to send a postcard with the word “Spaghetti” printed on the back in order to maintain secrecy.
He would make arrangements for the child support as soon as he got it.
After several months, the man came home to find his wife perplexed.
“This is a little strange,” she observed, passing him an Italian postcard.
“Oh, just give it to me,” he responded, trying to seem calm. I’ll elaborate later.
However, his face went white as he read the card, and he passed out.
“Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti” was the message on the postcard. One without meatballs, two with them. Please send more sauce.
A woman travels to Italy for a two-week corporate training program.
As he drives her to the airport, her husband wishes her a pleasant journey.
“Thank you, honey,” the wife responds. “What would you like me to bring for you?”
With a grin, the spouse exclaims, “An Italian girl!”
The woman remained silent and walked away.
“So, honey, how was the trip?” he asks her as he picks her up at the airport two weeks later.
“Great, many thanks.”
“Whatever became of my present?”
“Which present?” She inquired.
“An Italian girl, the one I asked for!”
She said, “Oh, that.” “Well, I did what I could, but we won’t know if it’s a girl for nine months!”
A blonde is given the chance to take a plane to a nearby rural area.
She was anxious and eager because she had never flown on an airplane before. She jumped with delight as soon as she stepped inside the Boeing 747, running from seat to seat and yelling, “BOEING! BOEING! BOEING!”
She lost her location as she screamed, and the pilot in the cockpit could hear the commotion. The pilot, frustrated, stepped out and yelled, “Silence!”
Everyone began to stare at the blonde and the irate pilot as there was a dead quiet.
She silently gazed at the pilot for a while, focused intently, and then began yelling: “OEING! OEING! OEING!”
“Why do we ignore some letters in pronunciation, such as the letter H in Hour, Honour….????” I once asked my English teacher.
“We are not ignoring them; they are regarded as silent,” my English teacher stated.Well. (Maybe I was even more perplexed?)
My teacher handed me her packed meal during the lunch break and asked me to reheat it in the cafeteria.
I gave her back the empty container after devouring the entire meal.
My English instructor: “What took place? You are giving me back an empty container when I instructed you to go and HEAT my food.
“Sir, I thought ‘H’ was silent,” I answered.
Timmy, a small boy, rushed up to a mother who was cleaning the house and started crying.
She said, “What’s wrong, sweetie?”
Timmy admitted, “While playing soccer in the living room, I unintentionally broke a flower pot, Mom.”
The mother sighed, attempting to maintain her composure. “How often have I told you not to play soccer inside the house, Timmy?”
Timmy answered, “I know, Mom, but it wasn’t my fault.” The ball simply took off!
“Well, accidents happen,” the mother answered, glancing at him. However, you must use greater caution the next time.
After giving a nod, Timmy hurried to play. Timmy said, “Mom, I have something to tell you, but I promise you won’t get mad,” when he came back a few minutes later.
Curious but suspicious, the mother answered, “Okay, I promise.”
“I also broke the window… but I learned a valuable lesson!” Timmy exhaled deeply.
The mother’s eyebrow went up. “And what is that lesson?”
“Next time, I’m playing outside,” Timmy replied with an embarrassed look.
A teacher is attempting to teach her students what the word “definitely” means.
“Can someone provide me with an example?” She queries.
“The grass is definitely green,” Suzie says, raising her hand.
The teacher responds, “The grass can be brown at times.”
“Who else?”
“There’s no denying that the sky is blue,” Timmy says.
According to the teacher, “the sky can be black at night or gray if it’s cloudy.”
Little Johnny wonders, “Do farts have lumps?” while raising his hand in the rear of the class.
The teacher is taken aback and responds, “No, of course not!”
“Then I definitely pooped my pants,” says Johnny.
Haha!