She tried to speak between gasps. “Mom, Lisa… Lisa is mean to me when Dad isn’t around.”
“What do you mean, sweetie?” I asked, my heart breaking.
“She says things,” Amy continued, tears streaming down her face. “She says I’m annoying and that I shouldn’t be there. She told me that if I told Dad, he wouldn’t believe me because I’m just a kid. She said I should stay in my room and not bother them.”
The anger that flared up inside me was almost blinding! How dare this woman, who had no right to be in my daughter’s life, treat her this way? “Amy, you did the right thing by telling me. I’m so proud of you,” I said, trying to keep my voice calm.
“You don’t ever have to be around her again if you don’t want to. I’ll talk to your dad, and we’ll figure this out, okay?”
Amy nodded, wiping her tears with the back of her hand. “Okay, Mom.”
When we got home, I gave Amy a big hug and let her know how much I loved her. Then, once she settled in her room with her favorite stuffed animal, I picked up my phone and called Dave. He answered on the third ring.
“Hey, Claire, did something happen? I just got home, and Lisa said you came by and took Amy?”
“Yes, something happened,” I said, unable to keep the anger out of my voice. “Amy used our code word today, Dave. She wanted to leave because Lisa has been saying awful things to her when you’re not around.”
There was a long silence on the other end of the line. “What? That can’t be right… Lisa wouldn’t—”
“She did, Dave. Amy was in tears by the time we got in the car. She’s scared of your girlfriend, and she didn’t know how to tell you, so she told me the only way she could.”
“Claire, I’m sorry. I had no idea. I’ll talk to Lisa. This isn’t okay.”
“No, it’s not,” I said, my voice softening. “But what’s more important is Amy. She’s the one we need to be thinking about.”
“You’re right,” Dave said, sounding more defeated than I’d ever heard him. “I’ll handle it. I promise.”
After we hung up, I sat on the couch, feeling emotionally drained. This wasn’t how I’d imagined my weekend going, but I was glad that Amy felt safe enough to use our code word. It was a small thing, but it had made all the difference.
Then and there, I decided my little girl had to get a phone. I knew technology could be damaging to her development, but believed she could use it to text me and it would come in handy.
As I sat down on the couch, reflecting on everything that had happened, I realized just how crucial it was for other parents to have something similar in place. That code word gave Amy a way to reach out without feeling exposed or vulnerable.
It also allowed me to step in before things escalated further. But, the code word is not just about picking any random word; there are a few important rules to keep in mind to ensure that you choose a good “password.”