Age gaps in relationships are a common topic of discussion in modern society. Whether due to issues of compatibility, maturity, or cultural norms, people often wonder: What is the biblical perspective on age gaps between spouses?
Examining the Bible, we discover that age difference in marriage is not presented as a moral or spiritual concern. In fact, Scripture rarely focuses on the age of couples or emphasizes it as a decisive factor in godly unions. Instead, the Bible prioritizes values such as faith, character, and spiritual compatibility.
Let’s explore what Scripture says (and doesn’t say) about age differences in marriage.
Biblical examples: Abraham and Sarah
One of the few couples in the Bible whose ages are mentioned simultaneously is Abraham and Sarah. According to Genesis 17:17, when God promised Abraham a son through Sarah, Abraham was 100 years old and Sarah was 90, indicating a 10-year age difference.
Abraham fell face down and laughed. He said to himself, “Will a man who is a hundred years old bear a child? Will Sarah bear a child at ninety?” — Genesis 17:17 (NIV)
This example shows that while the Bible acknowledges the age gap, it doesn’t present it as problematic or spiritually inappropriate. Rather, it focuses on God’s covenant and the miraculous birth of Isaac.
What about Mary and Joseph?
Some traditions suggest that Joseph may have been older than Mary, but again, the Bible does not specify ages. In the Gospels, the emphasis is on Joseph’s righteousness and obedience to God’s instructions (see Matthew 1:19-24 ), not on the age difference.
Since Scripture is silent on their respective ages, making assumptions about age differences between Mary and Joseph falls into the realm of extrabiblical speculation.
Is age difference important in Christian marriage?
While the Bible does not consider age differences a spiritual or moral concern, it does provide clear principles for godly relationships. These include:
- Shared Faith: Christians are called to marry other believers.
“Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers.” —2 Corinthians 6:14 (NKJV) - Heterosexual Union: Marriage is described as the union between a man and a woman.
“…a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” —Genesis 2:24 (NIV) - Divine Motivation: Marriage should be based on love, not selfish desires.
“Do everything in love.” —1 Corinthians 16:14 (NIV) - Wisdom in Decision-Making: Christians are encouraged to seek divine wisdom in all their decisions, including whom to marry.
“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God… and it will be given to him.” —James 1:5 (NIV)
Therefore, age is not a biblical impediment. While significant age differences can present practical challenges, such as differences in life stage or energy levels, Scripture does not consider them an impediment to a Christ-centered marriage.
Modern considerations on age differences
In today’s world, a significant age gap between couples, especially between a younger woman and an older man, can draw social scrutiny. However, it’s important to distinguish between cultural views and biblical truth.
While a large age gap (for example, between a teenager and someone significantly older) could raise ethical or legal concerns and should always be approached with caution, age gaps between consenting adults are not morally prohibited in Scripture.
Many mature Christian couples, a decade or more apart in age, have built successful, God-honoring marriages based on mutual respect and a shared faith.
What should Christians prioritize when choosing a spouse?
Instead of focusing on numerical age, believers are encouraged to consider deeper questions:
- Is this person spiritually mature and growing in Christ?
- Do we share a common vision of family, faith, and service?
- Do we treat each other with respect, humility and love?
- Are we both entering into the relationship for honorable and God-honoring reasons?
As long as both individuals are legal adults and enter into marriage voluntarily, the age difference becomes secondary to these fundamental biblical values.
Age difference is not a spiritual barrier
In conclusion, the Bible neither directly condemns nor approves specific age differences in marriage. Its silence on the subject suggests that age is not one of God’s primary concerns regarding compatibility in relationships.
What matters most is that couples:
- Sharing a commitment to Christ,
- Embody love and mutual respect,
- Living your relationship with integrity and purpose.
Whether the age difference is one year or ten, believers should seek God’s guidance, apply biblical wisdom, and prioritize what Scripture truly emphasizes.