The Real Reason Cheating Husbands Always Stay…see more
Every small town has them—those seemingly perfect marriages where the husband “works late” just a little too often, where the wife smiles a little too brightly at church picnics. The neighbors whisper, but no one says anything outright. Because everyone knows the truth: he’s cheating…and he’s never leaving his wife.
Why?
After decades of observing these arrangements—in country clubs, at corporate retreats, even in my own extended family—I’ve learned it’s never about love. It’s about something far more calculated.
The Unspoken Economics of Infidelity
Let’s start with the brutal financial realities most men won’t admit:
- The 50% Rule
Divorce means surrendering half your assets—sometimes more if there’s a prenup with sunset clauses. I watched a golf buddy lose his $2.3 million beach house because his 25-year marriage hit the skids. His mistress? She worked at the BMW dealership. Not exactly the trade-up he imagined. - The Alimony Trap
Take my cousin Richard—corporate lawyer, three kids in Ivy League schools. His “weekend conferences” with his paralegal would’ve cost him $15k/month in spousal support if his wife ever filed. So he bought her a Mercedes instead. Cheaper in the long run. - The Business Partner Factor
When your wife co-signed the loans for your dealership, when her father introduced you to all your best clients…you don’t divorce that. You just start using cash for your hotel rooms.
The Social Engineering Behind the Scenes
It’s not just money. It’s about maintaining appearances:
- The Country Club Paradox
At our club, the board quietly revoked membership from two divorced men last year. Not for the divorces themselves—but because their messy court battles made members uncomfortable. Meanwhile, Hank Montgomery brings his “niece” to the Christmas gala every year. Everyone winks. No one objects. - The Church Wife Shield
Nothing protects a man’s reputation like a devout wife who volunteers at the food bank. When scandal threatens, her social capital becomes his armor. Pastor’s wife Karen has been covering for her husband’s “fishing trips” for seventeen years. Why? Because in our town, being an elder’s wife matters more than truth.
The Mistress Math
Here’s what young men don’t understand: mistresses aren’t replacements. They’re accessories.
Take my friend’s arrangement:
- Wife: Manages their rental properties, handles his diabetic mother’s care
- Mistress: A divorced yoga instructor with no kids
He pays for her apartment but would never marry her. Why? “I need a CEO, not a concubine,” he told me. Harsh? Maybe. Honest? Absolutely.
The Dark Psychology of It All
The smartest cheaters I’ve known share three traits:
- They Keep Both Women Needy
A wife stays for security. A mistress stays for promises. By never fully committing to either, the man maintains control. - They Engineer Plausible Deniability
“Working late” means answering your wife’s call in front of your secretary. “Golf weekends” require tagged Instagram photos with male friends. The best liars leave just enough truth to seem credible. - They Understand Women’s Silent Bargain
Many wives tolerate affairs because they’d rather share their husband than lose their lifestyle. It’s not approval—it’s a cold calculation. The sharpest husbands recognize this and never push too far.
Why This Won’t Change
In my sixty-three years, I’ve seen exactly three cheating husbands leave their wives for the other woman. Know what happened?
- One lost his CFO position when the board questioned his “moral compass”
- One’s new wife demanded a postnup after two years
- The third is now on his fourth marriage…and still cheating
The rest? They die in their marital beds, their secrets buried with them. Their mistresses get a nice watch in the will. Their wives get the house. And life goes on.
The truly shocking part?
Most wives knew all along.
But that’s another story entirely…