It used to bother you. The quickness. The suddenness. The way it would start with such heat and then—almost without warning—it was over. He’d roll over, say something half-charming, maybe kiss your shoulder and drift away. No apology. No explanation.
But over time, you stopped asking. Maybe you told yourself it was normal. Maybe you blamed age, stress, or just “how men are.” But if he finishes fast and never says sorry, there may be something else going on beneath the surface.
For some men, especially as they grow older, speed isn’t just a physical issue—it’s emotional. They rush not because they want to, but because they’re afraid of what happens if they don’t. Staying in the moment means being fully present: feeling every breath, noticing every tremble, hearing every sigh that isn’t about them. And for some, that kind of intimacy is terrifying.
Finishing quickly lets them escape it. It protects them from the risk of disappointing you, of confronting their own fading stamina, of hearing what you really need. It’s not arrogance—it’s avoidance. And the lack of apology? That’s shame, dressed up as confidence.
But here’s the thing: it doesn’t have to stay that way. You don’t need to scold or criticize. What you can do, instead, is gently invite him to slow down in the ways that don’t rely on performance. Ask him to kiss you longer. To speak to you, even while touching you. To focus less on finishing and more on feeling.
Because when a man realizes that it’s not about how long he lasts—but how deeply he connects—something softens. Something shifts.
And sometimes, slowing him down starts not with his body… but with your voice.