An exhausted looking blonde dragged himself intothe doctor’s office.
“Doctor, there are dogs all over my neighborhood. They barkall day and all night, and I can’t get a wink of sleep.
“I have good news for you,” the doctor answered, rummagingthrough a drawer full of sample medications. “Here are somenew sleeping pills that work like a dream. A few of these andyour trouble will be over.”
‘Great,” the blonde answered,”I’l try anything. Let’s give it ashot.”
A few weeks later the blonde returned, looking worsethan ever.
“Doc, your plan is no good. I’m more tired than before!’
“I don’t understand how that could be”, said the doctorshaking his head. “Those are the strongest pills on themarket!”
“That may be true,” answered the blonde wearily, “but I’m stillup all night chasing those dogs and when I finally catch one it’shard getting him to swallow the pill!”
.
.
.
blonde holding a baby walks into a drug store
and asks the clerk if she can use the stores baby scale
Sorry, ma’am,” says the clerk.“Our baby scale is broken. Buwe can figure the baby’s weight if we weigh mother and babytogether on the adult scale, and then weigh the mother alonand subtract the second number from the first.”
“Oh, that won’t work,” says the blonde
“Why not?” asks the clerk.
Because,” she answers,”I’m not the mother – I’m theaunt.”
.
.
.
A blond was rollerblading with her headphones on.
She stopped at a hair salon and asked for a haircut.
She instructed that the hair stylist could not take off herheadphones.
The stylist replied refusing to cut her hair, so she left.
She went to a different hair salon and said the same thing
This time, the stylist agreed to cut her hair.
After a while, the blond fell asleep in the chair
To wake her, the stylist took off the headphones
The blond immediately fell on the floor, flopped and died
Confused at what happened, the stylist put on theheadphones.
They were saying: “breath in, breath out.”
.
.
A somewhat advanced society has figured out howto package basic knowledge in pill form.
A student, needing some learning, goes to the pharmacy andasks what kind of knowledge pils are available.
The pharmacist says:“Here’s a pill for English literature.
The student takes the pill and swallows it and has new
knowledge about English literature
“What else do you have?” asks the student.
“Well I have pills for art history, biology, and world history,replies the pharmacist.
The student asks for these, and swallows them and has newknowledge about those subjects.
Then the student asks:“Do you have a pill for math?”
The pharmacist says,“Wait just a moment,” goes back to thestoreroom, brings back a whopper of a pill, and plonks it onthe counter.
“I have to take that huge pill for math?” inquires the student.
The pharmacist replies,”Well you know math always was alittle hard to swallow.”