Tom said to his boss, “I want to take a day off. My parrot flew away, and I have to find it.”
The boss said angrily, “It’s just a parrot. Is it worth taking a day off?”
Tom replied, “But before it flew away, it said it knew all the company’s business secrets.”
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The teacher asked, “Who can tell me what the greatest invention in American history is?”
Little John raised his hand and answered, “It’s the alarm clock, teacher.”
The teacher asked curiously, “Why is it the alarm clock?”
Little John said, “If there were no alarm clocks, all those presidents would oversleep, and America would be in chaos.”
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Two Americans were discussing losing weight. One said, “I’m going to eat only one banana and drink one glass of water every day.”
The other asked, “When are you going to eat them?”
The first one replied, “I haven’t figured that out yet. I’ll buy the banana and water first.”