“God, that must save you so much money.” (Yeah, it does.)
“How do you go on dates/make friends/have sex/relax, then?” (You learn to be brave without alcohol.)
“I could do that too, if I wanted to.” (Good for you.)
“Do you hate drugs/parties/fun?” (No, I’m not here to ruin things.)
“Everyone I know who doesn’t drink is a prude — but not you!” (Nice backhanded compliment.)
“You can sit at the non-drinking table at the wedding with the kids, right?” (I can sit with anyone, thanks.)
“You just don’t drink because you don’t like the taste.” (It does smell bad to me, but that’s not the only reason.)
“Can you hold my purse And my shoes And my hair while I vomit?” (Being sober doesn’t make me your babysitter.)